Transitions: Our lives are full of them.  Our spouse gets a new job, our oldest child goes off to kindergarten, our new baby comes home from the hospital, one of our parents passes away, we move into a new community.  Life is change.  And especially as our children grow and get older, all kinds of new changes are thrown at us at lightning speed.

So knowing that change is a natural part of life and will certainly continue to be, how do we stay equipped to deal with all that is coming at us so quickly?  The first step is in actually recognizing where you are in the process of transition, and to do that, it’s helpful to know about some fascinating work that William Bridges has done on Transitions.  Let’s use the example of your first child going off to kindergarten.  Bridges says that in every transition there are three phases: Endings, Neutral Zone, and New Beginnings.

Endings.  In every transition there is an “ending,” or something we are leaving behind and saying good-bye to.  As your child goes off to kindergarten, some things that might be ending are: Having your child at home with you all day, being in control of who your child comes into contact with, and a flexible schedule as a family.  It’s important to realize what you are giving up in the transition, and once you honor that piece of it, it can be much easier to move forward into the New Beginning phase.

Neutral Zone.  Before you are ready to jump into the New Beginning phase and embrace all the change that goes along with the new world of kindergarten, there is this awkward “middle” place that is sometimes the biggest and longest phase of transition.  In the Neutral Zone, we haven’t been able to fully let go of life as we knew it, and at the same time, we are also looking ahead to the new and exciting places we’ll go.  Here, we’re in limbo.  We’re not ready to fully say good-bye and we’re not ready to fully move ahead.  We’re missing our child at home with us all day, but we also get excited for the ways our child is now being stimulated and challenged in a classroom setting.  This place can be kind of messy for us.  It can be confusing and chaotic, and it can even be a time when you question, “Who am I in this change?” or “What does my life mean now?”  Let yourself be here.  This will pass.

New Beginnings.  This is the place where you feel yourself becoming a full-fledged kindergarten parent.  You’re ready to be there.  You’ve dealt with the things of the past that aren’t there anymore.  You’re excited about this new change and even start to see the opportunities (more time for you during the day, more opportunities for your child, etc.).  It feels good to be here, and the important thing is not to rush it.  You simply cannot get to this place before you are ready.  And when you do become ready, be sure to celebrate!

When change and transitions enter your life, remember that it is all a process.  And it takes time to allow it to unfold.  Let yourself be in those places where you might feel sadness or loss, and refrain from judging your feelings.  The more you give yourself permission to ride it all out, the more you will be fully ready and prepared to jump into the New Beginnings phase and embrace the transition. 

Think about a transition you are currently experiencing.  Where are you in the process?  What can you do to let yourself be there?  Then what can you do to ceremoniously say good-bye to some old things so that you can be freed up to finally move forward?  Life is change.  And it is your choice how you handle it.  Why not empower yourself and choose to embrace it with excitement?! 

Michelle Stimpson is a Professional Coach who empowers her clients to slow down, get clear on priorities, and create a life of purpose. She leads an “Ultimate Living” program for women who, in the busyness of today’s world, want a simple solution to get out of overwhelm and stay out forever!  Michelle can be reached through her website at www.lifeshinecoaching.com.

For more information on Transitions, go to www.wmbridges.com.